The cocoon cracks
I have been feeling pretty blah lately. All this drama with Phil is briging me down. I am doing my best to remain the bigger person and not turn into a total asshole...all this repression cant be good for my hairline lol.

I have been getting mixed feedback from people lately about what i am doing with my life as a whole. addmitedly there is a discord within me that i cant explain. I have been reflecting upon myself alot lately for a leadership class and i think i have made some huge realizations.

Last night i had a dream, in it i was laying on my back and then began to pull off my skin to reveal a layer underneath like a snake shedding its skin, but i kept meeting resistance.

Its gross sounding i know but metaphorically i think its appropriate for how i feel right now. When Phil and i broke up i admit i was pretty lost. The about a month ago in leadership class everyone was talking about goals and direction in life (something i was always told by Phil that i didnt have). I realized how far i had progressed in the last year or so. I have accomplished so much and learned alot about myself my goals motivations and my shortcomings.
This was kind of crystalized when i talked to Phil last week and he started throwing ultimatums that i would have to do to get get back together (i had to do a list of things that were non negotiable, come out to my parents, stop drinking/partying,ect). It was kind of comical from my perspective if not unbelievable, Phil was still treating me like the person i was when we broke up, he had no clue who i was now. The old Aaron would have bent over backwards to do what he asked.

This is all adding up to something big, really big. There is a leviathan moving around in the mist out there i can feel it and its coming closer. on the cusp of something just not sure what it is, but i know its going to change everything.

Stay tuned true believers...