insomnia blows
So it’s almost 4 and I have given up trying to sleep. After tossing and turning for hours i don’t know what to do anymore. I keep thinking about all the stuff i need to do this summer, about the future and about guys.

I am finally over the flu bug that hit me on Wednesday. It totally figures that the second my stress levels decreased my body decided to give out on me. I went from having a blast with everyone at beer gardens, to being curled up in a ball on a couch in the student’s Union building with the chills desperately clinging to a horrific cup of mango tea for warmth, all of this within about an hour. I lounged a lot this weekend, I was too sick to do much but watch TV and contemplate about all the shit I should have been doing. I cleaned out a whole bunch of files and stuff from my computer which was very releasing.

I have a couple of ideas for some fun websites as well and have more clearly thought out my plans for Just Another Epic Fable.

Additionally I figured out why I have all this pent up anger ( I think). No contrary to the common consensus it is not because I am not getting laid however that can’t be helping the situation. The main reason I m angry is because I am not getting treated well be certain person’s and this has been going on for quite a while. I am always going to be the guy that puts others in front of himself and as such that gets me into various troubles and “Aaron is a doormat “situations. However one can only put out so much without getting anything back. This isn’t a woe is me situation (by the way I think that is the first time I have ever used the word woe before) this is more a gradual realization that I can’t expect everyone to treat me the way I treat them and to expect this is unfair to them and just causes me to be letdown and angry.

I hope for too much and get let down and frustrated so since I can not change the world in this aspect at least, I am going to keep putting out (spiritually at least ;) good vibes with no expectations. (I tried to make a joke here about no strings attached whoreishness but it’s just not happening , anyways onward). I am not lowering my standards just expectations and not letting the jerks in my life get me down.

btw hows that for spelling a punctuation David, this boy knows how to use ms word yo! (yes yes I just "Yo"ed deal with it and move on)