So this is it.
It's funny in an annoying way to know what you want but not have any clue as to how to get it.

Im siting here eating a bag of salt and pepper lays that i dont even want for no reason other than im stressed. I have been in this room studying way too much the last two weeks and its not helping my OCD at all. I feel shut in and cut off. Stuck here I know I can't keep waiting for my life to start happening. Too much time sitting here looking a guys profiles reading blogs.

I know things will be better soon once accounting is over on wednesday. In related news I am so doomed for accounting. I get like this whenever I spend to much time at my desk this feeling that the rut i am in is engulfing me whole.

In reality I know its not that bad. There are only two things I want to change in my life right now.

1. My overall physical health and well being. I am at the point where my body is at it's most pathetic state that it has ever been. My eating habits are horrific and i cant seem to controle my stress eating. After wednesday I am starting new I have the ability to do this I just have to stick to it.

2. Seeing all the happy couples online is really starting to make me wish I had someone to share this humble little life with. I know I probably do not have the time for something uber commited and to be quiet honest i have'nt been looking. Part of me wants to pull off all my online profiles and delete my msn list. This all relates to the first thing I said in my post, the details of which I am keeping to myself until i figure out what to do about it.