well truce sex isnt as good as i had hoped
Now Playing: the latest elder scrolls oblivion trailer WOW
so phil and i didn't break up. were gona wait and see how things go. I really really hope it gets better and less awkward for us.

we still ended up having awkward sex tho...the first half was fine but then we got off track and it was just really weird... it got better tho...

im thinking that i do too many favours for ppl and that its starting to prevent me from being able to do the things that i want to dow ith my life.

Sounds like i have an additional contract at work pretty much nailed down YAY for me. its gonna be alot of fun i think and a greta learning experience!

works done must go home now.

in limbo
so its been busy few weeks. Im finnaly getting back into the swing of things with my research did some regression today and got some awsome results.. the days started off pretty shitty tho i lost my pocket pc but then phil found it at his place. thank god iw as making myself sock over it.

good news alkso that i may be getting alot more hours at driveable this summer they will likely be signing me to an additiona contract to do DVD interface designs and web support which would be alot of fun i think! Im finnaly combing my talents of psychology and art yay!

Saw star wars with frank last night.. it was acctually pretty good considering how bad the first one was and how badhalf the second one was. The problem i think is that george lucas isnt a director so much as a Si FI pioneer a directoris supposed to make his actors better than what they could be without him. The acting was pretty bad (im looking at you natalie) however the actors in the movie are really talented so im placing the blame squarley on george's back ...cool tech no heart or character motivation. oh well at least the light sabers were really cool.

oh and big props to the liberal govt for surviving there budget vote. i dont see what the big deal is the liberals are finnaly giveing into ppls demands for funding social services...isnt a responsive albeit scared goverment a good thing...it keeps them productive! so i hope this minority govt stays around for at least a year longer until after the gay marriage and pot laws have been safely passed.

now on to that bad stuff. Hung out with phil yesterday and we kinda realized that the spark is gone from our relationship and we were both suffering from the blahs....and i have to admit for a while now it just seems like our relationship is like to friends (at its worst aquaintances) who have great sex together and i think a relationship should be more than that dont u? hes taking off this weekend to think some stuff over, where hes going and what hes thinking about i dont know. But i have a strange suspicion that i may be getting dumped this coming week. oh well theres nothing i can do at this point but wait.

now im getting otu of work early cuz almost no one is left in the office!

ciao

grrrrrr
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: forced to listen to waiting room music aaaarg
so got to work early becaus al asked me to and now hes in a meeting so im sitting with nothing to do, ne cell phone is so dead even tho it was on the charger...great start to a loooong day.

so phil and i had a big talk about or relationship on monday and we basically decided that we dont understand eachother and thats why were having problems. so in order to fix that we are going to try and be more understanding and not rush to judgement about things. so i thought that sorted out most of our difficulties buuuut he hasnt talked to me since i called him yesterday to make sure he was ok but he sounded distracted( the convo only lasted like a min) i miss him and his silence is concerning me. Some ppl have told me this isnt a good sign at all and that i should prepare for bad news. So im preparing and hoping for the best.

ooo one bright spot for today we have this hot stocky electrician around the office today mmmmmmmm

back towork for now

Random acts of karmic insanity
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: nothing cuz my pocket pc wasnt working for some reason
ok after last night s random bitching i figured i should post again.
Went to work today and acctually didnt ahve to move at all on teusday thursday and every second friday i get an office...a sweet office witha nice veiw of downtown. its better than nothing so really its mondays and wednesdays that im allowed to be cranky lol

So also i finished up my data enrty and now im working on double checking my datda so we can start analyisis this week. So im walking though where my old area was and the new girls are working and there talking about what theere working on and i realize that its all the incredibly TEDIOUS!! stuff that i did for the first couple of months last summer...they got my spot but they also got all my ollf bitch work (and trust me its really bitch work) while im working on something really important so ya kudos for me im awsome!

Oh and here is my horoscope for this week creepy!
"the proverb warns that you should not bite the hand that feeds you." "But maybe you should, if it prevents your form feeding yourself." so said the critic of psychiatry thomas Szasz.
he was urging us to think about how our dependence on seemingly benevolent providers might paralyze our free will and interfere with our ability to take care of ourselves. In the song 'the hand that feeds' trent reznorexpressesa further dount about the proverb. He implys that the hand that feeds us may supply us with stuff that doesnt norish us and that it is tainted by the supplier's motivations. "will u stay down on your knees or will you bite the hand that feeds".
its a good time to re-evaluate your relationship with athority figures who purport to be helping you.

intense

I get to jax and its kinda sort of busy and i see some guy walk in and go straight to the bathroom..i got a wierd vibe formt he guy but it gets busy again so i forget about it. 45 min later he basically bolts out of the bathroom and i see from his face and eyes that hes higher than a kite. so getting morebad vibes i check on the mensrooma nd its fucking trashed and disgusting (not to go into details) and the toilet is broken so i clean that all up and put an out of order sign on the door.
(and yes im kinda cranky)
its a slow day and so i start cleaning up and half an hour to close 4 soccer moms in training (aka yuppeis that are festering into new forms) so they want food but the grill has been shut of for an hour so they decide to get nachos and a whole bunch of deserts. they pay with a card the totalwas 30 bucks not tip... so im in the middle of my ejnd of the night clean up and ther asking for me to do all this extra stuff for them...at first i dont mind but then they ask for more and more and more. there all really rude about stuff too and im trying to be charming but after working 15 hours im getting pooped plus having such a huge order so late is totaly messing up my closeso they leave after we close up and i start to clean up the table and then im pissed! they didnt even tip me i was livid..so i go to the back to talk to some regualrs that i nknow really well and start bitching about the ladies that just left and so im bitching and there acking me up and i go to clean up the rest of the table and find a 5dollar bill crumpled in a napkin that im about to chuck.

boy did i feel like an asshole!
so karmically i know im gonna eb fucked for saying all that stuff.
so i finished my close about a half an hour later than usual and my boss and the regulars are debating about weather its better to be lied to or cheated one (uggg that was a painful convo) i get in my car get it started and i see a psychics calling card onder my windsheild wiper. wierd

i pull it off and out of the dark comes this huge vehicle at my car it brights were blinding me (almost seemd like something out of a david lynch movie) so this sketchy bronco pulls up and this sketchy guy gets out and tells me this storey about being a down on his luck electrician from fort saskatchewan. He said he lost his wallet and needed some gass money to get home.

i had a check for a thousand bucks in my wallet and i really dint want to get mugged (thank u income tax return ) so i give him a toonie through a crack in my wondow hoping he'll go away. He says thanks and hops in his truck on his way. (after asking for a smoke of course!)

it was probbaly a scam but i wouldnt have been able to live with myself if it was true and i didnt help

and now i must sleep!

As the peices slip away, I am naked. Quiet in the Dark.
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: saw clone wars today man it was good! better than the real thing!
Well i haven't posted in a bit. I'm not sure what i would say. Theres nothing good to report it would just be me bitching. 1 month recap! sounds like all of my old high school friends with the exception of one or two are gonna be gone this summer (many have graduated and are gone for years) Phil and i are doing better still haven't dealt with all our shit tho Did OK in my classes not great bonus is i passed my first math class final in 9 years! I am realizing all these years of my life being inseparable tied to my friends has been a tactical error. I love them all dearly but there going to live there own lives and thats what adults do i guess. Fucking sucks tho. So all this new free time allows me much opportunity for self exploration (commence eye rolling) Two of my best friends broke up rather out of the blue (makes u wonder about true love huh?) Started back pseudo full time at work today and i walk in and barb tell me that they gave my cubical space to the two new summer students. I almost freaked. I worked my ass off to get a cubical there for 2 years i lugged my fucking desk up 4 flights of stairs last summer just so i could use it! I had to wait sooooo long for a really desk and a monitor thats not 10 inches (try doing data analysis on an 10 inch monitor for 8 hours and u will know what I'm talking about) So theres really no room anywhere in the office for me so i set up my laptop (with a, surprise surprise 10 INCH MONITOR) in the testing room 4 bare walls a tiny table and no windows or pictures (think the "hole" in OZ with less feces) Then i get moved from room to room as ppl need them. FIVE fucking times i had to pack up all my files and move to another place. I don't know how I'm gonna work all summer like this. I'm so pissed off! Plus side is i get to be treated like a doormat by them possibly for another year! AL told me today that I should start work on another grant proposal. i wish i could be more excited but I'm still too pissed off. Too many ppl are psychoanalyzing me and telling me what to do who i should be and how i should feel! FUCK OFF (family this means stay out of my face for a couple of days) One thing i have decided officially is that I'm gonna work harder my web design projects officially and try and make some money off of it by the end of the summer. My coworker who knows about this said today that i was really talented and could make allot of money off of it. My chat bud Tod said i should work on learning to draw better. Theres no reason i cant follow both of there suggestions. Other decision i have made is that i am gonna finish my business degree I thought this would make me feel better, cathartic it didnt

shit is going down
Now Playing: scissor sisters
full update later to stressed

Your Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 Score Is...
	Your Score:	Average For All Users	Average For All Bisexual Liberal Pink-Skinned 19 to 25-Year old Males (24 total)
Dating	26.92%	32.09%	18.75%	Dated seriously
Self-Lovin'	31.82%	59.13%	36.55%	When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself
Shamelessness	62.9%	77.33%	69.09%	It takes a couple of drinks
Sex Drive	57.14%	75%	61.61%	A fool for love, but not always
Straightness	70.37%	36.5%	18.13%	Done the nasty, but not creatively
Gayness	0%	77.07%	47.76%	Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame
Dominant	60%	85.92%	73.33%	Not afraid to tie the knot
Submissive	68.25%	86.18%	76.46%	Bound and gagged a few times
Fucking Sick	74.49%	89.28%	79.72%	Dipped into depravity
Total Score	53.61%	72.72%	57.91%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 and see how you match up! (By The Ferrett)

SINfully delicous!
Now Playing: SIN CITY fools!
Just got back form watching SIN CITY...i suggest anyone who like movies art or classic storytelling GO SEE IT!

It was a little gory but i loved it! they did such a good job of incormprating comic book story telling styles in to a moving narrative...im soo inspired for working on the site now!!

Had a very proiductive day ...worked on doing up a site for my dad.
Rerquests are coming in like crazy now for little art peices...im only getting paid in beer now buuuut its padding my profolio for other things...BIGGER things!!

Things are still kinda odd with me and phil but we ghada really good chat last night and I think were on a much better path now. Its gonna take alot of work buut i know it will be worth it!
gonn get back to work now

Could the internet pirate be reforming arrrrrg!!
Now Playing: biffy clyro
went to the mall today for the first time sicne xmass

I am begingin to realize that the mall isnt marketed to poepl in mydemographic i am in this awkward area where im not a teenybooper and im not a buisnessman grrrrrr
it wasso frustrating i had a 75 dollar gift certificate to sears and i found nothing!

I ran into Stephen a gay friend of dans at the mall and he almost outed me to the family it was kinda close!! but all is well

OH i DID buy a complete set of "the office" the bbc comedy i cnat wait to watch it i saw a couple of episodes and i loved it!\
I still refue to buy dvds for movies i already paid for in the theater!

so i ahvent gone crazy
yet

busy bee
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: the fred durst porn video (oh my)
So my webhosting company for the epicfable site is dead. Its not gonna be back up for a while wich is probably a good thing cuz im gonna be able to focus on the content a little more. I have begin woring up the epic history stuff which is turning out to be more complicated than i thought.

Got some pretty good news form the doctor today which is a huge relife YAY FOR free health care!
Thank u tommy douglas!

Getting a bunch of other stuff doen...Phil and I are working on a website for the local leather emporium. Its unsolicited formt he owner but me and phil figure it would be a service to humanity if we did up a better site Check out the old site Here
but beware and put on protective goggles.
Phil and i are working things out....the chemistry just hasne been there the last few months but after thew weekend we worked som stuff out and we are and i quote "getting back to stability"

Oh also i think im getting into leather gear ....still not sure tho..mmmmmmmmmmmm

Do I look STONED to you......YES?? ummmmm ok then
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: ageless beauty by STars
So after a lateish sleepless night last night i wake up after getting like 3 hours of sleep. No biggie i do it all the time.

Im sitting on my bus waiting for it to leave chillin and listening to my PDA (more on that later)
This cute guy who was sitting at t front of the bus comes and sits at the back opposite me.

He taps me on the shoulder and i kinda turn to his direction and hes like hey bud are u stoned?

Pardon? i say
Are u stoned?
WHO ASKS SOME RANDOM PERSON THAT ON THE BUS!!

im like no unfortunatly not.
he says "oh sorry u just looked stoned"
so i proceeded to tell him about my lack of sleep ect.
we acctually had a pretty good convo after that....i was half expecting him to pull out a joint (maybe next time i see him LOL)
plus im not sure if he was checking me out or not (he is in advertising after all and u know how they are)
So there must be soemthing seriously wrong with my morning routine if i end up looking stoned.

Side note my pDA plays has about 500 songs to choose from when its on random shuffle play. It played ageless beauty by stars 3 times in an hour and a half...it has NEVER repeated a song like that b4 on a siggle play round...maybe GOD is trying to tell me something

Apparently stoned