Spring Fever has hit
So I had a great day today! Went to work and was super productive I think i am starting to get the hang of this web design thing. Went to a seminar on search engine optimization with Henry my boss. It was pretty standard stuff but now he will know what i am talking about with our wed redesign.

The hotties were out in force today spring has definitly sprung in edmonton. The downtown was just alive with people. For some reason a whole bunch of them were insanley hot. I was a droolin all over the place.

Randomly ran into two aquaitances from school at seperate times today. The first one was shocked to see me in a suit and after I explained i was in buisness now she said "I had heard that you went in buisness after psychology but I wasn't sure i belived it" man how times have changed.

The other one asked me how things were going with phil and I. I repeat , man how times have changed.

Moments ago i just saw on the news that a waitress at a pub we go to for open mic night on sundays Oscar's Pub in shwerwood park, was found dead outside of it after she didnt come back after her break.
That is tottaly fucked up, especially since sherwwod park is so safe normally.
Wierd

So i got to thinking last night. I tend to take deaths in wierd ways. My uncle Al passed away and I wanted to tell you about what happend. Now we were not close to say the least but what happedn to him is important.

last night i was so pissed off. Uncle Al was in his mid 50's and about a month or 2 ago he goes into the doctor and finds out that he has terminal cancer. I was mad because it seemed so unfair he was so young and had so much to live for. He was given basically a month to live.

Then i got to thinking so many of us are never given a chance to say goodbye to the people we love, to say the things that we really mean to them before we pass away.

What would you say or do if you had one month left to live. How would you treat the people around you how would you change as a person.
Mind blowing

And another good man gone...
So yesterday at about 5 my Uncle Albert passed away suddenly from stomach cancer. He was a great man, a loving educator. He made a difference and he will be remembered fondly!
Cheers Uncle Al
Rest well you will be missed.

insomnia blows
So it’s almost 4 and I have given up trying to sleep. After tossing and turning for hours i don’t know what to do anymore. I keep thinking about all the stuff i need to do this summer, about the future and about guys.

I am finally over the flu bug that hit me on Wednesday. It totally figures that the second my stress levels decreased my body decided to give out on me. I went from having a blast with everyone at beer gardens, to being curled up in a ball on a couch in the student’s Union building with the chills desperately clinging to a horrific cup of mango tea for warmth, all of this within about an hour. I lounged a lot this weekend, I was too sick to do much but watch TV and contemplate about all the shit I should have been doing. I cleaned out a whole bunch of files and stuff from my computer which was very releasing.

I have a couple of ideas for some fun websites as well and have more clearly thought out my plans for Just Another Epic Fable.

Additionally I figured out why I have all this pent up anger ( I think). No contrary to the common consensus it is not because I am not getting laid however that can’t be helping the situation. The main reason I m angry is because I am not getting treated well be certain person’s and this has been going on for quite a while. I am always going to be the guy that puts others in front of himself and as such that gets me into various troubles and “Aaron is a doormat “situations. However one can only put out so much without getting anything back. This isn’t a woe is me situation (by the way I think that is the first time I have ever used the word woe before) this is more a gradual realization that I can’t expect everyone to treat me the way I treat them and to expect this is unfair to them and just causes me to be letdown and angry.

I hope for too much and get let down and frustrated so since I can not change the world in this aspect at least, I am going to keep putting out (spiritually at least ;) good vibes with no expectations. (I tried to make a joke here about no strings attached whoreishness but it’s just not happening , anyways onward). I am not lowering my standards just expectations and not letting the jerks in my life get me down.

btw hows that for spelling a punctuation David, this boy knows how to use ms word yo! (yes yes I just "Yo"ed deal with it and move on)

Something like its supposed to be
Now Playing: the new yeah yeah yeah's cd GO GET IT AND LOVE IT!!!
First let me get my media whoreing out of my system.

Man the new yeah yeah yeahscd show yur bones is fucking amazing

The video game Oblivion has been blowing my mind the last week and i have been playing far to much of it considering how much I have to get done this week and last week. Its just so immersive you sit downw wanting to play 10 min and you and up there till 4 am eye bleeding cuz you cant pull yourself away. It makes me feel like im 14 again.

Fables by vertigo is consistently surprising me with the quality of its storytelling and the simplicity of its art. If you want a great read/ride pick up the first collection its a great intro into how comic books should be done.

Ok out now onto more pressing matters. Its amazing how quicly everything can get complicated so quickly even when one is strving for simplicity.
It was my dad's birthday on friday and my uncles came to visit as a surprise from kelowna. After i headed to the roost for Ian's going away party, it was pretty low key i havent been there since phils party way way way back. Saw some ppl i havent seen in a while which i was a little aprehenisve about but it turned out to be really good on that front (most cryptic paragraph ever!!)I was a bit cranky and tired tho so i may not have been as social as normal.

There was of course some gay drama and some surprises but overall it was an ok time. Everything is sorted out now i think tho so its all good.

I keep thinking how funny the twists and turns things are taking. I got offered another part time job randomly from this company that my mom's company (and myself) buys computer equipment from. I went to pick up some stuff for my server on friday and The owner wanted me to come do some bench work for them. Just in time for summer wooo! Gonna be making some extra trip money :D Its gonna be another ball to juggle but hopfully i will have time for it!

The webserver will be ready to start hosting stuff within the week! So if anyone wants to host a site someplace cheap email me!

Parting thought: You cant always get what you want. (cliche yes but very true)

Is it wrong to want to punch a 58 year old man
Now Playing: she wants revenge; Tear you apart
Im in a bit of a pissy mood today. Strathcona tranist is really starting to agravate me. I have spent thousands on bus passes in the last 7 years and am getting very pissed off at the absolute fucking minimum levels of service i get there. They decided rather than plow the parkade they would just shut it up so no one could use it = oarking insanity. Then after i took a shuttle buss from where i parked (yes its so far into a farmers feild that i have to take a bus to take my bus). This ignorant bus driver starts scolding a bunch of us for getting on the bus b4 him (ge was busy gabbing to his buddies and smoking). Its also failry common for the drivers not to even show up till the last min so its failry commmon to just hop on when u get there. I wanted to tell him to save his fucking lectures for his grandkids alas im a big wuss.

Had a great weekend hung out with some ppl i havent seen in a while st patricks was a nostalgia fest. Had the mythical "third date" with jeremy on sunday. It was nice to cuddle with someone again :D Saw v for vendetta with him. GO SEE IT!! it was perhaps one of the most politicaly relavent movies i have seen (take that Micheal moore). It was powerful fun and moving all at the same time.

Oh and I tottaly failed my acccounting midterm with a 46 % :(

My mythical form

You are Form 4, Gargoyle: The Fallen. "And The Gargoyle mended his wings from the
blood of the fallen so he could rise up from
imprisonment. With great speed and
resourcefulness, Gargoyle made the world his
for the taking." Some examples of the Gargoyle Form are Daedalus
(Greek) and Mary Magdalene (Christian). The Gargoyle is associated with the concept of
success, the number 4, and the element of
wood. His sign is the new moon. As a member of Form 4, you are a creative and
resourceful individual. You are always
thinking of possible solutions to problems
you face and you generally choose one that is
right. Much of your success comes from your
ability to look at things a little
differently than everyone else. Gargoyles
are the best friends to have because they
don't always take things for face value.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wierd productivity
Now Playing: Peaches
So teusday is my insanley long 9 am to 1030 pm day. Lost fo classes ect. So i get into my night class on leadership knowing i would get a paper i did about my personal philosophy on leadership. Needless to say i got an x on it (its a pass fail course). I was really proud of the paper i came upon some really good self realizations and i think for a pass fail paper it was more than a pass.

The facilitator bitch we have for this class is the type of person that says that she doesnt have an opinion about a subject but when you dissagree about something she says she nags and belittles you until your eitehr to embarassed or frustrated to continue dissagreeing. Knowing that it was her that marked this makes me feel betteri know i did a great job so she can go fuck herself.

On a plus side after class i rather masterfully orchestrated the hottie from the class and a guiy in my group going to the powerplant to have a beer and watch the oilers game. Picture this 6'3 lacross player blak hair built as hell with a great package who is in enginering, seems straight as straight can be. Yet after tonight i am begining to wonder. In class we were talking about the allegory of the cave from platos republic and it dicusses how when someone is ignorant to the world around them they can be unwilling to change until they are enlightended (think the matrix as an alegory for it). We were talking about real life "caves" that people live in and he says right off the bat homophobia is the most prevalent form of it tofay, which floored me because he woudl ahve been the last guy i ever thought to talk about that. Then at the plant he kept trying to emphasis the fact that he had a hot big bobed blond girlfriend that lives in iceland..... possible fake girldfreind subterfuge maaaybe or maybe wishful thinking, but seriously how many enginears are charming enough to pull off a barbie doll not to many. An can i comment "pull off a barbie doll" sounds like a dirty sex move of some kind or something that hookers charge extra for :P

Missed my buss so i ended up getting home at 1230 tonight public transit so sucks right now

productivity producer
I got so much done today its insane, studied accounting, baked chels's mom a ton of cookies, and painted trimed and installed my room door wooooooo alos got my pictures developed from the trip and did some otehr running around. Its amazing what u can get acomplished away from these computer things
:D

The cocoon cracks
I have been feeling pretty blah lately. All this drama with Phil is briging me down. I am doing my best to remain the bigger person and not turn into a total asshole...all this repression cant be good for my hairline lol.

I have been getting mixed feedback from people lately about what i am doing with my life as a whole. addmitedly there is a discord within me that i cant explain. I have been reflecting upon myself alot lately for a leadership class and i think i have made some huge realizations.

Last night i had a dream, in it i was laying on my back and then began to pull off my skin to reveal a layer underneath like a snake shedding its skin, but i kept meeting resistance.

Its gross sounding i know but metaphorically i think its appropriate for how i feel right now. When Phil and i broke up i admit i was pretty lost. The about a month ago in leadership class everyone was talking about goals and direction in life (something i was always told by Phil that i didnt have). I realized how far i had progressed in the last year or so. I have accomplished so much and learned alot about myself my goals motivations and my shortcomings.
This was kind of crystalized when i talked to Phil last week and he started throwing ultimatums that i would have to do to get get back together (i had to do a list of things that were non negotiable, come out to my parents, stop drinking/partying,ect). It was kind of comical from my perspective if not unbelievable, Phil was still treating me like the person i was when we broke up, he had no clue who i was now. The old Aaron would have bent over backwards to do what he asked.

This is all adding up to something big, really big. There is a leviathan moving around in the mist out there i can feel it and its coming closer. on the cusp of something just not sure what it is, but i know its going to change everything.

Stay tuned true believers...