So thats what its ike to have the rug pulled out from under you.
So yesterday we have this really quick meeting at 3. I'll assumed the meeting was going to be about how the transition was going with me taking over Derrick's position.

Turns out our CEO is resigning at the end of the month so that we can afford to hire a full time VP or marketing. I'll almost fell out of my chair.

1. Our soon to be former CEO was the one the did a lot of the pushing to get me hired on full time. He was the one that saw that u had potential to be more than just web/tech support and he was the one that convinced the manager and president that I'll had what it takes to eventually assume an upper management position in the company once I'll got some experience. Without him there I'll have lost one of my biggest supporters. Not only that but we had a great rapport and understood where were coming from.

2. Our president comes from an academic background and as such needs someon to prod him along (because you can not run a business like a research program). Our CEO did that and has accomplished more in the last year since he took over than we had in 3 years previous. Without him I'll m betting things are going to return to they way they used to be.

3. This new guy thats coming in was hand picked by the president (not a good sign). He is in real estate (cuz we all know that that qualifies someone to put together marketing campaigns)(bad sign number 2).

4. This guy is not only taking what was going to be my job from me (marketing) but he is also taking away my ability to move ahead in the company as our CEO planned. I'll was looking at being upper level within 4 years, now with him ahead of me and being on the president's side im lucky if I'll make it there in 10.

All this leads to me thinking that I'll really have to reconsider my plans for world domination. I'll will see how things go with this new guy maybe we will get along great maybe he wont be the huge douchebag he sounds like, maybe I'll'll learn something.
Or maybe im just fucked.

Side note: use the word shlong in a conversation with someone today! Its a funny word use it more!

I have never seen so many men hugging at the urinals.
SO i pretty much had the best day yesterday! Started it out by moving into my new office. I was in all my OCD glory getting things organized and cleaned up from who was there before. It looks pretty good and now i have a better view out the window.

I am beginning to worry that i have bitten off more than i can chew with this job. There is so much to learn.

Halfway through the day Lucas calls me to inform me that he had managed to get 4 tickets to the hockey game from his boss. I almost shat myself and soiled my new office i was so excited. (for those of you that don't follow hockey the oilers were on the cusp of eliminating the best team in the league on home ice, this hasn't happened on home ice in a very long time and the last time we made it to the second round of the playoffs "no fear" t shirts were cool). Tickets for the game were being scalped for like 500 bucks at least, and here we were me Lucas,Tim and Lucas's dad mister P sitting ins some amazing seats watching the oilers most important game in almost 8 years.

The energy in the building was incredible. It's like we all knew that this time things would be different and that change was possible. It was such an insane natural high. It actually looked like we were going to lose until the 3rd when the oilers hard work started to pay off. We won it in the last few minute's. I don't think i have seen a better or more exciting game of hockey in my whole life and to be there was total magic. The whole place went crazy! Afterwords in the washroom the urinals were all lined up 3 deep and guys were high fiving and hugging. It was the strangest thing i have ever seen in my life (I'm not used to seeing men talk in the can never mind hugging and high 5ing, and that includes the bathrooms at the gay bars I have been too). While i was peeing a guy tapped me on the back and yelled go oilers and encouraged me to pee faster.... so strange, definitely not the place for those that are pee shy.

After the game me Tim and Mister P caught the train to go back downtown. Mister P is a great guy however he doesn't speak much English and without Lucas there he was kinda lost. We tried to ask him where he was parked but he was to busy high fiving people. We get downtown when he realizes that he hopped the train going in the wrong direction (considering Edmonton's train only has 1 track that goes north/south its usually pretty hard to get on the wrong train). It was pretty funny me and Tim trying to explain that he was going the wrong way.

I hooted and yelled and clapped so much my hands and throat are so sore today. Up and down the streets downtown people were yelling dancing and honking (totally nuts!).

To top it all off i passed my accounting class with a 59.8 woo i so thought i was going to fail, I also did pretty well in my other classes.

Done like dinner
Wrote my last ever (hopefully) accounting exam yesterday. It tottaly destroyed me. Then we went and hung out at the RATT and then julios. Had a pretty laid back fun time and then got accosted by a drunk hooker who smelled like she bathed in a vat of "cheap french whore perfume" (in a fine wal mart near you!).
Whyte ave is so special.

Took over the IT department at work today only to find that i have a billion things to do. It woudl almost be easier to start from scratch lol.

Now im off to have coffee with a boy :O scandalous.

So this is it.
It's funny in an annoying way to know what you want but not have any clue as to how to get it.

Im siting here eating a bag of salt and pepper lays that i dont even want for no reason other than im stressed. I have been in this room studying way too much the last two weeks and its not helping my OCD at all. I feel shut in and cut off. Stuck here I know I can't keep waiting for my life to start happening. Too much time sitting here looking a guys profiles reading blogs.

I know things will be better soon once accounting is over on wednesday. In related news I am so doomed for accounting. I get like this whenever I spend to much time at my desk this feeling that the rut i am in is engulfing me whole.

In reality I know its not that bad. There are only two things I want to change in my life right now.

1. My overall physical health and well being. I am at the point where my body is at it's most pathetic state that it has ever been. My eating habits are horrific and i cant seem to controle my stress eating. After wednesday I am starting new I have the ability to do this I just have to stick to it.

2. Seeing all the happy couples online is really starting to make me wish I had someone to share this humble little life with. I know I probably do not have the time for something uber commited and to be quiet honest i have'nt been looking. Part of me wants to pull off all my online profiles and delete my msn list. This all relates to the first thing I said in my post, the details of which I am keeping to myself until i figure out what to do about it.

Next stop nostalgia city
So having another quiet night here at home. I didn't get as much studying done as i wanted to. My accounting exam on Wednesday is looming ever more ominously. I may be screwed.

Phil text messaged me Friday night mostly to tell me that the guys in Ft Mac were all hot. It was odd hearing from him. We have been pretty much incommunicado for a while now unless we had to talk about administrative stuff for the just another epic fable web domain.

Weird is all i have to say.

Currently watching the karate Kid on TV. Now you have to understand when I was younger Karate Kid was my all time VHS. I would watch it religiously to the point where I pretty much wore out the tape. It began my love affair with martial arts which like many things form my youth has slipped away. It is pretty insane when i think about how much the movie influenced my life. I just realized how sad that sounds but it could be worse I could be talking about the breakfast club. Still I haven't seen this movie in forever I'm getting that warm tingly nostalgia feeling watching it.

The 80's were a magical time of big hair and short short shorts!

As a side note I want to have an old time beach party like they have at the of the movie. Blankets a roaring fire and roasting marsh mellows! I have never done it and I want to really badly for some reason!

Spring Fever has hit
So I had a great day today! Went to work and was super productive I think i am starting to get the hang of this web design thing. Went to a seminar on search engine optimization with Henry my boss. It was pretty standard stuff but now he will know what i am talking about with our wed redesign.

The hotties were out in force today spring has definitly sprung in edmonton. The downtown was just alive with people. For some reason a whole bunch of them were insanley hot. I was a droolin all over the place.

Randomly ran into two aquaitances from school at seperate times today. The first one was shocked to see me in a suit and after I explained i was in buisness now she said "I had heard that you went in buisness after psychology but I wasn't sure i belived it" man how times have changed.

The other one asked me how things were going with phil and I. I repeat , man how times have changed.

Moments ago i just saw on the news that a waitress at a pub we go to for open mic night on sundays Oscar's Pub in shwerwood park, was found dead outside of it after she didnt come back after her break.
That is tottaly fucked up, especially since sherwwod park is so safe normally.
Wierd

So i got to thinking last night. I tend to take deaths in wierd ways. My uncle Al passed away and I wanted to tell you about what happend. Now we were not close to say the least but what happedn to him is important.

last night i was so pissed off. Uncle Al was in his mid 50's and about a month or 2 ago he goes into the doctor and finds out that he has terminal cancer. I was mad because it seemed so unfair he was so young and had so much to live for. He was given basically a month to live.

Then i got to thinking so many of us are never given a chance to say goodbye to the people we love, to say the things that we really mean to them before we pass away.

What would you say or do if you had one month left to live. How would you treat the people around you how would you change as a person.
Mind blowing

And another good man gone...
So yesterday at about 5 my Uncle Albert passed away suddenly from stomach cancer. He was a great man, a loving educator. He made a difference and he will be remembered fondly!
Cheers Uncle Al
Rest well you will be missed.

insomnia blows
So it’s almost 4 and I have given up trying to sleep. After tossing and turning for hours i don’t know what to do anymore. I keep thinking about all the stuff i need to do this summer, about the future and about guys.

I am finally over the flu bug that hit me on Wednesday. It totally figures that the second my stress levels decreased my body decided to give out on me. I went from having a blast with everyone at beer gardens, to being curled up in a ball on a couch in the student’s Union building with the chills desperately clinging to a horrific cup of mango tea for warmth, all of this within about an hour. I lounged a lot this weekend, I was too sick to do much but watch TV and contemplate about all the shit I should have been doing. I cleaned out a whole bunch of files and stuff from my computer which was very releasing.

I have a couple of ideas for some fun websites as well and have more clearly thought out my plans for Just Another Epic Fable.

Additionally I figured out why I have all this pent up anger ( I think). No contrary to the common consensus it is not because I am not getting laid however that can’t be helping the situation. The main reason I m angry is because I am not getting treated well be certain person’s and this has been going on for quite a while. I am always going to be the guy that puts others in front of himself and as such that gets me into various troubles and “Aaron is a doormat “situations. However one can only put out so much without getting anything back. This isn’t a woe is me situation (by the way I think that is the first time I have ever used the word woe before) this is more a gradual realization that I can’t expect everyone to treat me the way I treat them and to expect this is unfair to them and just causes me to be letdown and angry.

I hope for too much and get let down and frustrated so since I can not change the world in this aspect at least, I am going to keep putting out (spiritually at least ;) good vibes with no expectations. (I tried to make a joke here about no strings attached whoreishness but it’s just not happening , anyways onward). I am not lowering my standards just expectations and not letting the jerks in my life get me down.

btw hows that for spelling a punctuation David, this boy knows how to use ms word yo! (yes yes I just "Yo"ed deal with it and move on)

Something like its supposed to be
Now Playing: the new yeah yeah yeah's cd GO GET IT AND LOVE IT!!!
First let me get my media whoreing out of my system.

Man the new yeah yeah yeahscd show yur bones is fucking amazing

The video game Oblivion has been blowing my mind the last week and i have been playing far to much of it considering how much I have to get done this week and last week. Its just so immersive you sit downw wanting to play 10 min and you and up there till 4 am eye bleeding cuz you cant pull yourself away. It makes me feel like im 14 again.

Fables by vertigo is consistently surprising me with the quality of its storytelling and the simplicity of its art. If you want a great read/ride pick up the first collection its a great intro into how comic books should be done.

Ok out now onto more pressing matters. Its amazing how quicly everything can get complicated so quickly even when one is strving for simplicity.
It was my dad's birthday on friday and my uncles came to visit as a surprise from kelowna. After i headed to the roost for Ian's going away party, it was pretty low key i havent been there since phils party way way way back. Saw some ppl i havent seen in a while which i was a little aprehenisve about but it turned out to be really good on that front (most cryptic paragraph ever!!)I was a bit cranky and tired tho so i may not have been as social as normal.

There was of course some gay drama and some surprises but overall it was an ok time. Everything is sorted out now i think tho so its all good.

I keep thinking how funny the twists and turns things are taking. I got offered another part time job randomly from this company that my mom's company (and myself) buys computer equipment from. I went to pick up some stuff for my server on friday and The owner wanted me to come do some bench work for them. Just in time for summer wooo! Gonna be making some extra trip money :D Its gonna be another ball to juggle but hopfully i will have time for it!

The webserver will be ready to start hosting stuff within the week! So if anyone wants to host a site someplace cheap email me!

Parting thought: You cant always get what you want. (cliche yes but very true)