(this was orignially writen on thursday but i decded to post it today)

a long time coming
So i met up with phil today.
I went in to this "talk" fully expecting that we were gonna take a 1 month break from each other just so we could sort things out.

We ended up tottaly broken up instead.

He said alot of things that surprised me. that unless somthing majour changes theres no point in gettting back together. The most surprising is that changed when i went into the buisness faculty. that i wasnt the same person and i guess not in a good way.

I never noticed b4 but i guess i did change alot when i switched over....add that to my list of things to ponder

If i had known going into buisness would have ruined our relationship i never would have done it. Add this to the list of reasons i hate my faculty.

I know we had alot of issues but wow its over.

I got home kinda shell shocked and could only get a hold of allision but she had soem stuff to do. so i faked being happy while the folks were around it was tough but i managed. To think i have been thinking about telling them about me and phil alot recently.

made myself som taquitos almost went for quiznos but i know that would have been to much for me...(phil and i used to go for quiznos once a month as like a date celibration thing) i didnt want to be crying as i ordered lol

so after the floks left i tried to drink but we dont have much alcohol so i couldnt really get drunk enough. Didnt have any icecream or chocolate
or cheese for nachos and i was too tipsy to go shopping in the car. So i figured killing things on the xbox would make me happy so i go to get all the stuff only to find that my bro hid all the games.

so i pnaicked cuz i had nothing to do and this overwhelming lonliness set in. tried to call ppl but no one asnwerd
then i called phil

i dont know why i wanted to make sure he was ok
i think i secretly wanted him to say that he wanted me back


par for the course however today he said none of the above.

its funny our "song" was "try" by nelly furtado and i always thought it was such a beutiful love song. But there is a line in it

"all of the momments that already past try to go back and make them last. All of the things we want eachotehr to be , we never will be , we never will be that wonderful. thats life"

And i realize how prophetic it is

i still hope one day that we will both be as wonderful